Low self-esteem and imposter feelings: why you doubt yourself, and what helps

You got the promotion, cleared the exam, or received a compliment. Instead of feeling proud, you thought, 'They will find out I am not that good.' Or perhaps you have felt for years that you are simply not enough: not smart enough, not successful enough, not like the others. If this sounds like you, this article is for you.

What low self-esteem is

The NHS describes self-esteem as the opinion we hold of ourselves. Healthy self-esteem helps us feel positive and cope with life's ups and downs. Low self-esteem makes us view ourselves and our lives more negatively, and feel less able to meet challenges.

What imposter feelings are

The term was introduced by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in a 1978 paper about high-achieving women. The imposter phenomenon is a pervasive experience of feeling like an intellectual or professional fraud, despite evidence of your abilities. It is often called imposter syndrome, but a 2019 systematic review in Frontiers in Psychology states that it is not a diagnosable condition. It can occur in people with and without mental health problems. It is a name for a pattern, not a diagnosis, and only a qualified professional can say whether something else is going on.

A 2020 systematic review in the Journal of General Internal Medicine looked at 62 studies and 14,161 people. It found that imposter feelings were common in both men and women, and across age groups from adolescents to late-career professionals. Reported rates ranged widely, from 9% to 82%, mostly depending on the screening tool and cut-off used. So numbers you may see online should be treated with care.

What it can feel like

• Putting your success down to luck, timing or other people's help
• Fear of being 'found out' in a meeting, interview or exam
• Rarely feeling satisfied, because the goalposts keep moving
• Overpreparing, overworking or not delegating, or the opposite: putting things off, then rushing
• Not speaking up, or turning down opportunities, because you feel you are not ready
• Being unable to take in praise, and being very hard on your own mistakes

Why it happens

The NHS says low self-esteem often starts in childhood and is shaped by messages from parents, teachers, siblings, friends and the media. It can also come from struggling to meet other people's expectations or our own, from stress and difficult events such as serious illness or bereavement, and from personality, such as a tendency towards negative thinking or setting very high standards.

In medicine, a 2020 review in the International Journal of Medical Education found that imposter feelings affected between 22.5% and 46.6% of medical students and doctors in the studies reviewed, and that medical culture can train for or worsen perfectionism and imposter feelings. This suggests that environments matter, not only the person.

A loop that keeps it going

Thoughts, feelings and actions feed each other. For example, praise at work brings the thought 'I just got lucky.' This leads to anxiety and a tight body. You respond by overworking or avoiding. When things go fine, you credit the extra effort, not yourself. The doubt stays.

The NHS also notes that avoiding things can feel safe in the short term but reinforces self-doubt over time, and that low self-esteem raises the risk of depression and anxiety. A 2013 meta-analysis of 77 studies in Psychological Bulletin found that low self-esteem predicted later depression more strongly than depression predicted later low self-esteem, although the authors said more research is needed to confirm the cause.

What is normal and what is a problem

Doubting yourself before a new challenge is normal. It becomes a problem when it is constant, when it makes you avoid chances or work yourself ragged, or when it comes with signs of depression or anxiety, such as low mood, hopelessness, sleep trouble or constant worry. The 2020 review found that imposter feelings often occur together with depression and anxiety, and are associated with poorer job performance, satisfaction and burnout.

What helps

Honesty first: in the 2020 review, no published studies had evaluated treatments for imposter feelings themselves. So the suggestions below come from general approaches to low self-esteem and self-doubt, and from NHS advice. They may help, but there are no promises.

Check the thought, not just the feeling

The NHS suggests writing down negative thoughts and listing the evidence against them. This is a core CBT skill. A thought like 'I am a fraud' is a thought, not a fact.

List your strengths and the facts of your wins

The NHS suggests listing at least five positive things about yourself, including compliments from others, and keeping the list where you can see it. For imposter feelings, you can add the facts: what you did, what you learned, and who recognised it.

Take small challenges instead of avoiding them

The NHS advises setting achievable challenges, such as joining a class, because reaching goals builds confidence. Choose something small, do it, and note what happened.

Be kind to yourself

The NHS suggests speaking to yourself as you would to a friend. A 2023 review in the Journal of Affective Disorders of 15 trials found that compassion focused therapy improved self-compassion and reduced self-criticism in people with mental health difficulties, although the quality of many studies was unclear.

Say what you feel to someone you trust

The NHS suggests spending time with supportive people, limiting time with people who drag you down, and saying no to requests you do not want to agree to. Telling a trusted friend or colleague 'I sometimes feel like a fraud' may help, and you may find that others feel the same, since the 2020 review found imposter feelings common.

Talking therapy

The NHS says talking therapies such as counselling or CBT can help with low self-esteem. A 2018 systematic review of CBT programmes for low self-esteem, based on one specific model, found that they improved self-esteem and depressive symptoms in adults, but the authors noted that it is unclear whether these differ from treatments aimed at depression, and only eight studies were found. If self-doubt comes with depression or anxiety, a doctor or psychiatrist can assess you and discuss options, including medicine where appropriate. Decisions about medicine are always made with your doctor.

Myths and the Indian context

• Myth: 'Confident people never doubt themselves.' Self-doubt is common, across ages and professions.
• Myth: 'Imposter feelings mean I really am not good enough.' The feeling does not measure your ability. Many capable people have it.
• Myth: 'I need to work harder to prove myself, and then it will go.' Overworking may keep the doubt alive, because you credit the effort and not yourself.
• Myth: 'Only women or only juniors feel this way.' The 2020 review found it in both men and women, across ages.

In India, many of us grow up in an environment of comparison: marks, ranks, salaries, 'what will people say.' Being the first in your family in a professional job, or moving from a small town to a big city, may bring extra pressure to prove yourself. Family expectations can be both a source of love and a source of weight. None of this means you are less capable. It may help to remember that your worth is not the same as your results.

If you want to talk to someone, you can contact Tele MANAS (14416). If you live in India, our guide to therapy in India explains how to find a counsellor.